not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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