At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
