It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i think my mom watched the whole time
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
