When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
