It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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