Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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