My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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