There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I have tasted many bathrooms
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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