We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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