So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
