THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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