Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
