Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
