I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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