somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
