best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
where does the pee come out of this thing
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
third nipple confirmed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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