Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
