We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
