How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
