Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
