fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize