you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
