the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
