The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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