Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
