I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
