Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
