That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
