I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
