I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize