but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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