i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize