her vagine was all disorganized.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
And then my night got REAL pukey
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
