You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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