In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
