there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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