At least make sure they are 18
Why
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize