Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
