I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
