The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
