Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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