she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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