Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
