I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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