well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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