I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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