so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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