Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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