There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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