i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
