Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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