You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
