now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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