i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Success! We fucked roommates!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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