He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
