Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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