oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
