there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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