i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
