why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
