dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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