He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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