people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
