guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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