her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
