im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
