no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
