Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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